Before I start, let me bring to your notice that all characters described here are strictly fictional, hmm! well a bit fictional ;). So lets do it.

The First 2 Golden Weeks

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Somehow the first two weeks of any job appears to be such an achievement for no good reason. In these two weeks, practically any job in the world will seem to be a dream job while your colleagues are working their asses off and you be dreaming and smiling full of energy. Not that landing on a job is not an achievement but its the overrated hype we give to it.

Okay! So what happens to all that energy after a month? Mysteriously, no one has answers to that.

Bored_At_Work

Well every HR dept around the world are trying their best to answer this by re-creating childish games in corporates but fail so hard, often because its too boring to get involved with. Come on, you guys can think more than a treasure hunt and human pyramids, so please change the tradition.

 

The Office Crushes

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I would say, on an average, people in corporate offices have more crushes than in college. Well I don’t have statistical data to back up this statement but quite true. Lets just leave it at that, shall we?

The life line to these crushes are the intercoms, like the nervous system of our body. One thing I know for sure is that at this point the other partner is fully seasoned, so you better know the rules and get to the point. I am telling you, there is no room for people who are too scared, too stingy, too romantic, too possessive and the many more ‘too’s to come.

 

The Meaningless Whatsapp Groups

The funny thing about the corporate world is that people become friends fast but shift organizations faster. If you have shifted more than 2 organizations in the past 3 years, this would mean to you more. This is when you are left with certain whatsapp groups and facebook friends who you no more know so well but can’t delete or move out of a group either. Toughest part is when you are the admin of the group and have nothing to do with it now. Suppose this is the lifespan of a 21st century corporate friendship. Conversations usually last a good 3 mins top with a “GTG” or “TTYL” at the last.

The Appraisal Effect

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Its the month of April when an employee comes to know about his weaknesses, his attitude issues, his punctuality to office and all the negatives possible, all these discussed over during the appraisal meetings. Happens so that throughout the year, managers collect such important pieces of information of their subordinates, file it mentally and then when time comes up, fire’em back. Infact, listening to such a session, I once questioned myself ” Am I fit for this position and do I really need a hike?” . I suppose these appraisals have been strategically and scientifically placed in the corporate world by the HR dept just to remind everyone about their importance every year and nothing else.

The Amazon Forest Effect

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Time and now you keep on hearing about promotions that happen to people in the senior most level but ever wondered why the mid and junior management positions are not promoted that often. I call this “The Amazon Forest Effect”. Well its not philosophy so don’t be cursing me like

Damn! who the hell does he think he is?

Okay, like I said earlier, you must have seen managers promoted to senior manager and a general manager to VP and stuff like that often right. You will understand the theory and will realize the effect better. It goes like this.

Trees in Amazon forest are thickly packed and grow to a staggering 100 ft to 150 ft height. These trees  create new plant life below by keeping the soil fertile but as these plants grow into smaller trees the amount of sunlight required becomes insufficient for it to grow because all the bigger trees don’t allow enough sunlight through. This make all the tall, big trees taller every year but not much growth for plants under it.

I hope you got to know the metaphor and irony of the theory with the corporate world. Otherwise you are always welcome to drop in a comment, you will get a reply in a moment.

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